Finding the Present Moment in a Chaotic World

_{“Take education. What a hoax. As a child, you are sent to nursery school. In nursery school, they say you are getting ready to go to kindergarten. And then first grade is coming up and second grade and third grade… In high school, they tell you you’re getting ready for college. And in college you’re getting ready to go out into the business world… People are like donkeys running after carrots that are hanging in front of their faces from sticks attached to their own collars. They are never here. They never get there. They are never alive.” - Alan Watts}

Hey friend,

I hope you've been well!  

This morning I was reading a chapter from Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks on the present moment, and I wanted to share some of it and my thoughts with you here.

He begins by talking about how most of us use time as a resource to be managed. We spend a lot of our day optimizing our tasks, our routines, and our lives with the sole focus of making a future goal or state a possibility. We are always thinking about what we have to get done by the end of the day, end of the week, tax deadlines are here, planning for summer vacations, saving money for some cool new thing that you want, etc. Always striving towards some future thing or experience that will make us happy when we reach it. The problem is when we get there, we inevitably are already looking to the next thing, the next goal, the next trip. Even when we are on vacation we are already thinking, “wow we should come back here next year”, instead of actually appreciating the vacation we are currently on.

Oliver says that it makes sense for someone who cleans public restrooms to be looking forward to the weekend, and to a better job in the future. However it is a bit more strange when someone who always dreamed of being an architect finally has their dream job, and yet focuses their attention on getting through this project to get to the next, to meet the next deadline, to get the next promotion, or retirement, etc. Never fully present in their dream job as they are always working with their mind on some future date.

I have found myself doing this many times, counting the hours or minutes until the end of work, or an uncomfortable dentist visit. I sometimes even habitually check the clock during DJ sets to see how much time I have left. I am doing the thing I love, and yet there is a part of me that is focused on “how long until this is over?” This is kind of insane.

This chapter really hits home, and it reminds me of a speech Sam Harris gave years ago on death and the present moment. One section of it has always stuck out to me as profound, and I think it sums up this whole idea perfectly.

_{“But, as a matter of conscious experience, the reality of your life is always now. And I think that this is a liberating truth about the nature of the human mind. In fact, I think, there’s probably nothing more important to understand about your mind, than that, if you want to be happy in this world. The past is a memory; it’s a thought arising in the present. The future is merely anticipated; it is another thought arising now. What we truly have is this moment. And this. And we spend most of our lives forgetting this truth, refuting it, fleeing it, overlooking it. And the horror is that we succeed. We manage to never really connect with the present moment and find fulfilment there, because we are continually hoping to become happy in the future. And the future never arrives. It is always now. However much you feel you need to plan for the future to anticipate it, to mitigate risks. The reality of your life is now. Even when we think we’re in the present moment, we’re, in very subtle ways, always looking over its shoulder, anticipating what’s coming next. We’re always solving a problem. And it’s possible to simply drop your problem, if only for a moment. And enjoy whatever is true of your life in the present.” - Sam Harris}

For me, this is something I try to keep in mind when I am going about my daily life. Time moves so fast, and years disappear as we are always looking forward to the future. We spend so much time anticipating and planning for a moment, only for it to come as we are helplessly trying to capture it on video, making sure we look ok, and the angle is just right… We totally miss it.

When I got married in September I had the luck of being able to be fully present in my experience the entire afternoon and evening. I wasn’t worried if things were going to go well, or stressing about if everything was perfect. All I wanted to focus on was how lucky I was to be here now, and I wanted to experience it all in the moment, not looking back on pictures realizing I had missed it. I had so many emotions hitting me that day, I became overwhelmed with euphoria and bliss many times as I soaked in the beauty of my life. I felt truly present and grateful to be where I was. This is what being fully in the present feels like. Flow. Bliss. Calm.

I feel like that is the goal for the rest of those big moments life brings my way. To not feel the need to capture it just to look back on, but to experience it and be there in the moment. If we need to take a photo or a video, sure, but then put your phone down and be there. Don’t worry about how the picture or video didn’t actually look the way you want as you try to take a couple more, missing the fact that the moment already passed and all you focused on was the photo or video.

The Finger Pointing at the Moon

_{“Do not mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon” - Buddha}

This is an idea in Buddhism that essentially means, do not spend so much time focusing on the teachings, the rituals and beliefs, the culture, the buddha himself, etc. Rather, spend your time living in the present moment, that is what all of these teachings are supposed to be about. We fixate on the techniques and the lessons and miss the point of it all.

The phone is our modern equivalent to the finger pointing at the moon. The moment is the moon, our phone is the finger. When we point at the moon, the idea is to tell you to look at the moon, not get caught looking at our finger. When we try to capture everything through our phone we miss the actual moment, the moon, while we are busy staring at our screen, the finger. This is what the Buddha meant when he warned about not mistaking the finger for the moon.

The Mexican Fisherman Story

There is a story Oliver tells that I have heard in a few other places, and I often bring up in conversation. I’ll end with it here. It beautifully encapsulates the way we westerners think and how it’s often kind of a trap.

_{An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village late one morning when a small boat docked. Inside the small boat was just one fisherman who had already caught several large fish. The American complimented the fisherman on the fish and asked how long it took to catch them.}

_{The fisherman replied, “only a little while.”}

_{The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?}

_{The Mexican said he had caught plenty enough to provide for his family’s needs for quite a while and even to give some fish away to others in the village.}

_{The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”}

_{The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, and stroll into the village where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”}

_{The American scoffed. “I am an experienced businessman and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could have a fleet of fishing boats, open up your own cannery and control all of the distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to a bigger city to run the expanding enterprise.”}

_{The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will that all take?”}

_{To which the American replied, “Oh, 15 to 20 years or so.”}

_{“But what then?” asked the Mexican.}

_{The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time was right, you would sell your company and become very rich. You would make millions!”}

_{“Millions – then what?” asked the Mexican.}

_{The American said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”}

This book really helps you put your time here in perspective and give you a bit a push to make the time you have count.

If you want to check this book out you can find it here!

Four Thousand Weeks - Oliver Burkeman

 Take care my friend,

- Niko